Brendlefly - Web journal of Brendon O'Hanlon

I have missed a week, not because I haven't written anything, but because what I had, was not ready to go up. Here is the first of my assignments from Adrian Rifkin to go up. I could attach it but. I prefer just copying the text.

The brief was to document how I pay attention to something, to be written in the third person. This actually changed from lecture to lecture first it was "describe yourself in the third person", then it was "describe yourself paying attention to anything" , then it was "..paying attention to a piece of art". I distilled these many options into:

Brendon Paying Attention to Adrian Rifkin’s Lecture.

Brendon has an odd way of paying attention to anything. When he goes to Adrian’s lecture he doesn’t take notes, well not many, he might note down the list of Artist names that get reeled off, but he doesn’t take actual notes on the lecture. He listens, and takes in the information, tries to comprehend and question it.

Writing notes down, if Brendon could keep up, which is unlikely, some how stops the information going in. It’s as though the meaning of the words hits his face and slides off down his fingers.

During the first lecture as well as listening to him, he ran his eye over Adrian. Trying to get the measure of the man, appearance first, age, clothes, then style and manner. He then started taking in his words, assessing not just the immediate content but taking in the political and social direction of his talk, personal anecdotes were noted and a picture built up.

The process of profiling Adrian, while important to Brendon, distracts from the actual academic content, so during the lecture he decided he’d like to try recording it. The idea of recording appeals, because without notes from the lecture although he absorbs and understands it, there is the worry that he won’t recall the specifics of it. There is also the plus that he’s never tried recording lectures before, Brendon likes to try new things, it’s a way of feeling like you’re achieving without actually doing any work.

By the third lecture Brendon has got himself a digital camera with a built in microphone, so he starts recording. He considers full video, but settles on sound, it should be enough to trigger memory, probably better, because the lack of image will actually make him remember the visual image. The freedom of the recording allows him to relax and really listen and interact with the lecture.

For the first time since arriving at University he is confident enough to draw in a lecture, he hasn’t drawn in school or college lessons since he was 11 , when he used it to help him focus on listening comprehension. While drawing, Brendon realises he has wanted to draw Adrian since the first lecture. As well as fixing Adrian’s image in his head, drawing acts as a tool to focus Brendon’s attention on Adrian. He decides to try the technique in lectures generally

Near the end of the lecture, someone who has come late asks to borrow Brendon’s notes for the lecture, he laughs goes through his pad and offers the picture. Oddly they don’t take up the offer.

Brendlefly - Web journal of Brendon O'Hanlon

Brendlefly - Web journal of Brendon O'Hanlon
Wow, a weeks gone by already since I set this up and I don't feel as though I've achieved much. Sunday I pretty well finished the work for my first Uni piece by taking photos of the congregation arriving for church. Again as usual there's a back story to this which I haven't mentioned. Well here goes..

In the beginning there was a word and the word was Vita, well actually three words Vita Et Pax written in large scary letters , accompanied by a large equally scary scarlet cross. This was the first time I walked from Oakwood station to the university, and the were written on the side of a very modern looking church. I assumed it was the fire and brimstone brigade , evangelical Christians/ happy clappy born again Christians in an appropriated school, until I thought about it. Vita et pax is Latin, and the font was a 30s style, and come to think of it the rest of the building was Art Deco maybe even that scary cross. So this was purpose built religious building. Well this intrigued me so I investigated, painted and drew and investigated some more have now mostly finished the piece. I'll post a few pictures on my website www.brendlefly.co.uk to give you an idea

The Final Piece is an installation, I haven't actually been able to set it up yet but it involves the second of two paintings of the church, painted from about fifteen feet away, the church curves like a fish eye wide angle lens because, I wanted a human perspective. I wanted to give it the imposing presence I feel the building has. From beside the painting the bottom left, right next to the main congregation entrance in the picture, will be a projection of the photos of the congregation arriving showing the effect of the church, what(who) this rather amazing, extreme building attracts. I want to do this using projection rather than using a TV because you can then interact with the images by walking through them.

I have got rather involved with this piece drawing parishioners, and the priest and getting to know the history of the place and I have a bit of a soft spot for it, I have actually said I'll show it finally at the Christmas Bazaar and at a special event they are having in November( I'll post more when I know more)

On Tuesday 17th we had a review/assessment, I think it went well, obviously I talked a lot. There was some positive reaction and there were a couple of suggestions that I should maybe have sound bites, which I'm not sure about. I didn't do it at the time because I didn't have the equipment, also the November event the parish council is working on does include interviews so I may find some way of working them in.

The truth is also, the ADD bunny in me has moved on to a new piece. Piece is a bit of a grand description, I have the seed of an idea. As I was taking photos and painting in Catholic territory I became increasingly paranoid, or at least tense hoping no-one would ask me what religion I am. I consider myself a fairly vehement athiest and I felt like I was tresspassing in this community. I was waiting for someone to challenge me like an illegal alien petrified about being asked to show my passport. The question did come from the priest himself, and I sort of bluffed my way saying I had no religion because of my mixed back ground of Tamil Mother and the English semi religious schooling from when I was young.

I got through but suddenly felt a issolated or excluded, they knew, and suddenly I didn't belong- because I didn't beleive.

The following day I was discussing this with two class mates and the religion question came up again I gave my vehement athiest answer and the lad I was with said he couldn't be religious because he was gay. He was excluded to not because he didn't beleive but because he felt there is no space for him.

I've been playing with this thought but I haven't come up with a way to use it yet. I have begun to draw and paint a few of these "excluded" as a start.

Phew maybe I did do something last week, because I have yet to mention that on Thursday I went to the Turner prize and I had a test run for a variation on a private view for an exhibition I have up in a local pub/pizza place called the Gate. I'll post details about that today or tomorrow and I'll be reviewing the Turner for Uni so I can put that up too.

Bye 'til then

This is the first installment of my web journal. There's a lot of back story missing but this is the story so far.

In 1975 I was born, this has suprised a lot of people, especially on my new course, who thought I was younger. But I like being 31 I've had a lot of fun getting here and I wouldn't want to lose any of it (even the bad bits)

Bringing it back to the present or at least to the recent past. The course I mentioned is BA Fine Art at Middlesex University, the impetus for this "blog" (Ugh I hate that word which is why I refer to ths as my web journal). Anyway it started 3 weeks ago, and its been a hard start, mostly due to my day job which I have had to fit my course around. Not that they haven't been flexible, I'm lucky I can go part time at all, but having to apply for my own job, writing CVs, application forms, doing psycometric tests, competence test and interviews with managers who don't really understand the intricasies of my job, and then decide I need to do extra qualifications just to keep it- well you can understand why I might find it stressful. I really didn't need all that rubbish when starting a degree.

As a 'mature' student my concerns are different, while I'm stressing with work, most of my new student friends are facing very different forms of stress. The shock of the new, a new course, new city, new responsibilities, new freedoms. I envy them a little, it's an amazing time, but I have been there. Back in 1993 Newcastle University, Richardson Road Student Flats. Unfortunately I was doing the wrong course, (Mechanical Engineering). I had an amazing time, with all the same distractions, but it was socialising and particularly romance that undid me. I can take or leave the drugs and alcohol but when I'm in love I give my 'everything'. I can make that special person feel like the only person on earth.

This all sounds very lovely I'm sure but unfortunately I don't work during this time. You can't do a degree like an ordinary job, just putting in the hours well I can't. My attention span doesn't work like that. I will spend hours thinking, daydreaming, faffing then suddenly I'll have a moment of clarity and tunnel vision. I'll forget to eat(one of my biggest passions), I won't sleep, when painting I'll forget to move my legs until they seize up. It's the same energy.

So before I started Uni, I did something terrible, I cut away a piece of my soul. I swore off love. I was going out with someone I cared for, loved but wasn't lost in. I broke it off, I didn't dump her I told her all the reasons and we parted amicably if sadly, but I swore I wouldn't have another relationship, wouldn't fall in love until after I finish my degree.

It doesn't sound so bad, like giving up smoking or alcohol, people do those all the time. But this is a much higher high an addiction people kill for and I've tasted it, I've been in the sweetest most passionate, intelectual, animalistic love, but I neglected my own development and without a strong self as a base it crumbled .

So if I'm going to have to do without Love, I'm going to have to find something to replace it, may be it should be Art.